These are the late-night thoughts that cloud our minds and stop us from living our lives to the full potential. We suffer from the pains of living through the most dreadful moments of our life every night as we go to bed. Closing your eyes can be difficult as the reel begins to play. Stoping all thoughts we succumb and be preyed.
In moments, in seconds life turns over you.
Moments turn to centuries as you try to grasp at them.
The fragile and weak fall prey and lay their hearts on the rails.
Its lack of honor and doom looming in as fear and horror sets in.
You are here in a moment and there forever.
Hereafter is what you want.
This all is nothing.
It means you decide who you want to be.
Who you are, is a soul to be freed?
Posing to be the person above the sheet.
Heeding to pressure yet sustaining none.
Your weakness and sorrows are heard in the hollows of your voice.
As you walk through the life,
that is a gift to you and not to be wasted.
Believing in myself, I stand today,
I woke myself up as I walked astray.
My path clear yet diverted.
Refraining and refining my thoughts in the moments of glee.
I fear for those days there was nowhere to flee.
I still breathe the air, around me
and I feel the walls surround me.
Holding me as I stand, catching me as I fall
and guiding me as I derail from the path.
The path laid by the fathers and forefathers of my day and age.
I carry the moments of those I cared for.
Loved and relished, fought and fretted, they aren’t there anymore.
To hear me adhere to what they used to say.
I’ve laid my cards out for all to see and I’ve left the hand dealt to me.
Jot down your thoughts, jot down your journey.
As the years turn to moments and moments turn to life.
You’ll pass away as the dawn broke the night.
The reality of life:
One thing that doesn’t stop ever is time unless it’s a broken watch. People are born and people are declared dead, every passing moment.
Yet, what is the one thing that never seems to stop no matter what? Time. Every time anything ever happens in our life, any tragedy occurs the most common sentence to be heard is that “time will heal all”. “Give it time, it’ll pass”. And it does but not if you don’t let it go fully.
Not if you keep holding onto the shreds to the most dreadful days of your life. This is a piece I couldn’t help but write, in a world filled with people full of themselves, we often find the weak ones. The people who see their failings, and are harsher on themselves than most others.
The Misery of remembering:
I speak of one such person that is me, I overthink and re-think the worst days and worst situations in life. Meanwhile, putting myself through the misery of remembering each and every single feeling that went past me on that particular day or moment. It’s so easy to fall prey to the overthinking patterns, let your heart indulge in the feelings and emotions that pass over you.
Every night, these late-night thoughts come and conquer your mind stopping you from sleeping and be peaceful in time. Feelings and emotions that seem to cloud your head, and fill you with false worries and stops you from living in the existing world. And instead of living in the existing world, you end up falling back into old times. As a person, who dealt with such pain in my life and who keeps reliving it, in fear of losing the one last connection that holds my sanity’s breaths.
I let myself be left behind in the shear of the late-night thoughts and memories as the time moves forward on the clock because the time is something, we can’t stop. Oh, it’s so easy to let yourself wallow in the trap of overthinking, you lose the sense of time. Life becomes of ritual a routine that must be followed in honor of the memory of the broken hearts, in fear of moving on, in holding off changes and dealing with the life-altering events.
We often defeat ourselves as the time passes us by, we remain stagnant to keep the sanity intact, we fall prey to losing sight of the bigger picture and indulge in our own misery. This is something that is not easy to heal with time unless you master your own mind and thoughts. Ensuring your own thinking process doesn’t take you deep down in the rabbit hole of overthinking, Something that can’t change the past but does affect your future and present.