I’ve been awake most of my life. Unable to sleep and suffering from acute insomnia. Unlike most insomniacs, my insomnia never caused me to be late for work or college. On the contrary, waking up early on a normal work day, was never a problem, which ensued the question. Am I really an insomniac?
According to WebMD, which is the most reliable resource on the internet, claims that there are two types of insomnia, first is the primary one and the secondary. Primary Insomnia is not related to any health issue, meanwhile, the secondary insomnia is related to a multitude of health issues including mental health. One of the causes of Insomnia, which I cannot ignore is Restless legs Syndrome, which I kid you not, can be found in my Google Search history on a regular basis, along with Depression, Anxiety and Stress.
While all of the above may be true and may apply to me and many others perturbed by the beast that is Insomnia, there is another very key component, that doesn’t let us fall asleep and that is our Imagination.
Especially our inability to let go and fall asleep.
The internet is abundant with ideas and hypnotherapy or guided meditations that help you fall asleep & let go. However, as someone who has been using these apps for the past couple of years, I can confirm, that after some time your brain catches up to you. Consequently my alter ego learned that “Hypnotherapy makes you go to sleep, hence its best not be effected by it” and instead my brain brought all the horrid fears, buried deep into my subconscious to conscious level, making it unbelievably difficult to sleep. Speaking for myself, who has a very vivid imagination and isn’t bothered much by sleeplessness, I’ve learned to let go of my sleep and indulge a little in my imagination.
But then again, who is to be blamed for this fact, no one but me. Since I am the one, who trained my mind since childhood, that sleeping or going to bed is merely an indication that it’s time to think or imagine things.
My vivid imagination isn’t something that came into my life as I grew up, in fact it was a creation of my childhood self, who was a vivacious person, charismatic, talkative, confident and a little crazy. That person lives and breathes in my quiet place, the night. The depths of my imagination come to life as I hit the bed, not because I’m an insomniac but because, I’m an Over Energetic Crazy person, who wants to do all the crazy things that people are doing around the world.
That’s where I’m the single girl traveling the world, performing Umrah, getting married in a beautiful gown, being the most amazing and successful writer in the world. That’s the life I live for the couple of hours intended for sleeping. Meanwhile, the woman who is trying to sleep is just cursing, tossing and turning around as the Restless Legs Syndrome takes over and the Stress and Anxiety peaks to its highest causing heartburn and acid reflux. Which makes me realize that life isn’t just about doing what needs to be done and following the rules and doing exactly what is expected of you.
As the time passes I’ve come to realize that the time behind me is gone forever. Hence, do what that crazy person inside you wants to do, go watch a movie alone or go to a spa, relax a day whichever way you like. Do what makes you happy or what your other self would do to stay happy or feel some sense of peace inside of you. Be more creative and enjoy each moment because when you don’t, that’s exactly when the stress, of not doing anything gives you heartburn and Restless legs, because these diseases are stress related if you achieve some of the goals your inner self wants to achieve, you’ll be able to let go, a little bit at a time, providing enough satisfaction to let sleep take over.